Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind

The author considers curiosity an inherent and natural feature of the human mind that propels us to discover new things and feel a sense of wonder. A study by psychologists Litman and Silvia identified two distinct types of curiosity: Deprivation Curiosity and Interest Curiosity. The Deprivation type is characterized by frustration at a lack of information, and a sense of relief when you get it. The Interest type, on the other hand, is driven by a desire to know more about a topic. This kind feels better because people enjoy a rush of dopamine as they learn new information, and their hippocampus is triggered to commit this learning to memory. This process is part of rewards-based learning: The brain experiences dopamine as a reward, which prompts the learner to enjoy being curious and repeat the process another time. Brewer reveals that too little or too much knowledge is unlikely to trigger curiosity, but a moderate amount likely will. Everyone can become curious about their own mind and body, allowing them to experience the benefits of Interest Curiosity as they employ mindfulness as a mental health strategy.

Brewer calls curiosity an “innate superpower” because of how it supports being present and thinking nonjudgmentally (180). Better yet, it is a simple internal process that can be repeated any time and registers as a reward in the brain. Brewer recalls how skeptics in his program were won over to the idea of curiosity as part of their cure for habits when they realized how it relieved their thinking minds and resolved feelings of bodily tension. If it is difficult to summon curiosity, people can always reflect on what it feels like to not be curious and register those sensations instead. The author concludes his chapter by asking the reader to observe where stress is manifesting in their body. Then, they must focus their attention on that specific spot, only observing and not judging. Finally, they use his “hmmmm” mantra to resist overthinking and stay observant and curious.

The author revisits the story of his patient Dave, who had consulted him for help with his severe anxiety, panic attacks, and overeating. Dave revealed that his father had abused him as a child, randomly hitting him with no warning. Dr. Brewer explains that this trauma led Dave to develop two rigid “zones”: a comfort zone and a danger zone. Understandably, Dave’s childhood experiences caused him to feel perpetually unsafe, leaving him with chronic anxiety anytime he left his comfort zone, which was very constricted. Everyone has a comfort and a danger zone, and ideally people learn to live in between them: the growth zone. In this zone you feel somewhat uncomfortable but focus on feeling curious and learning new things.

The author contrasts curiosity and willpower, noting that where willpower often exhausts us, curiosity rewards us. In a few months, Dave experienced the benefits of mindfulness and curiosity, as his new practice helped him lose weight and take on daily tasks like shopping and going to work. He even overcame his fear of driving and became an Uber driver, comfortably driving his passengers around.

Brewer recommends a breathing practice as a potential “bigger, better offer” for the brain when it is struggling with habit loops. Breathing is always available, easy to pay attention to, and does not perpetuate negative habits in any way. He suggests that the reader pay attention to where they are feeling tension and stress in their body, and try to inhale into that place, allowing their stress to leave their body with their breath. He compares anxiety to a cliff we fall from, while breath is a tree root we can grab to pull ourselves back up. The author concludes his chapter by asking the reader to try to develop their “mental curiosity muscles” and use some breath awareness at the same time (195).

The author relays a childhood story that shows the importance of paying attention—and how habit loops can undermine rules we would otherwise follow. As a child, he used his pocketknife to dissect a toy, wanting to see how it worked on the inside. Unfortunately, he was so interested in what he was seeing that he inadvertently cut his thumb as he knifed the toy open. From this experience, Brewer learned the hard way to follow the rule about always paying attention while using a knife. He builds on this anecdote by explaining that habit loops make it difficult for us to remember—and apply—rules.

Brewer introduces the reader to another strategy for “third gear”: the RAIN practice. This is an acronym for “Recognizing” one’s feelings, “Accepting” what they are, “Investigating” sensations, emotions, and thoughts, and “Noting” how it changes (202). The author relays the testimonial of a participant who used RAIN to cope with stressful feelings at work. The practice made it easier for her to overcome her dread about a meeting and helped her observe her feelings while staying present in her discussion with her colleagues.

One of Dr. Brewer’s patients used food as a way to numb negative feelings. Growing up with an emotionally abusive mom prompted this patient to turn to binge eating as a coping method. Her habit loops involved negative feelings as her trigger, binge eating as the behavior, and a brief feeling of pleasure as the result. However, once she was able to reflect more rationally on her actions, she felt terrible guilt. This unfortunately only triggered another habit loop, a kind of “Echo” of the first. This patient had also developed a habit of self-judgment due to her failure to stop her eating disorder.

To remedy both problems, Dr. Brewer assigned this patient a “Loving Kindness” meditation. This includes phrases such as “May you be healthy,” “May you be free from harm,” and “May you care for yourself with kindness.” These can be directed at oneself or dedicated to others. The author admits that he used to be skeptical about the Loving Kindness meditation, and that it took him years of practice to recognize its full benefits. He began to use it more frequently when he would bike to work, so he would show kindness to himself and motorists instead of frustration or judgment. This helped him become more joyful and open, rather than stressed and closed off. The practice also helped his patient, who soon learned to deal with her cravings with loving kindness and stopped binge eating.

The author relays a story about Amy, a patient who was increasingly stressed about her personal and professional life. Amy didn’t understand why her anxiety was increasing so rapidly, and she was continually frustrated by her failed attempts to figure out an exact cause behind it. The author laments this common “mental trap,” in which people hope that once they identify a particular cause, their anxiety will simply go away (217). The author advised Amy that figuring out why did not matter and asked her to take deep breaths and remind herself that she did not need to figure out the “why” behind everything. This helped her stop spiraling into this habit loop. The author asks the reader to avoid viewing their own health in a mechanical way and expecting to always find clear causes and quick solutions, as this is rarely the case in mental health.

Brewer explains that being wide-eyed is usually a sign of interest or excitement. People can use this body language to check in and see how they are feeling, and then widen their eyes to try to change their anxiety. Brewer guides the reader to respond to anxiety by naming their emotion, checking to see how wide or narrow their eyes are, and then opening their eyes wide to encourage their curiosity.

The author claims that living mindfully helps us to respond to, rather than react to, events in our lives. He advises the reader to continue practicing RAIN steps without forcing it or attaching expectations to it. It is easy to become frustrated with destination-oriented thinking, wondering why the steps didn’t produce an immediate positive result. This “should” thinking can become a habit loop in itself. The best thing to do is to incorporate RAIN as much as possible into daily life, staying present each time.

One way to practice the “Noting” step is to experience one’s environment using all five senses. This is the very opposite of living life on autopilot, as you will truly notice each image, smell, taste, and more. Rather than allowing the brain free rein to produce an uncontrolled train of thought, you will “note” each part of your present reality, interrupting rumination and generating real appreciation or insight. Brewer considers mindfulness like a surfboard that helps keep us afloat instead of being swamped by the waves of events—and our own instant reactions to them.

This tool is particularly useful for people who experience episodes of panic. The author distinguishes panic attacks from panic disorder, explaining that attacks in themselves are relatively harmless in spite of how awful they feel. The problem arises when people associate the attacks with certain activities, and then avoid those in fear of succumbing to another attack. This perpetual cycle of worrying about panic attacks and avoiding potential triggers is panic disorder, which can severely affect people’s lives. Dr. Brewer experienced many panic attacks as a medical student but responded to them with mindfulness, noting his own sensations and the thoughts he generated around his attacks. This helped him avoid the “black hole of panic disorder,” as he did not start believing his own narrative that certain situations would always lead to panic (234-35).

Once people have worked through first, second, and third gear, they are ready to begin setting new, good habits for themselves. These can include aspects of mindfulness, like kindness and curiosity. Because the human brain is wired to register negative input and danger more acutely than positive experiences, people need to be truly mindful during good experiences to fully register their rewards. For instance, if people want to exercise, volunteer, or eat well, they should pay attention to their good feelings while doing so, so they can keep up their motivation to repeat the process.

The author implores the reader to build their own success at working with their anxiety by practicing their new mindfulness skills. The reader needs two kinds of faith: a leap of faith into the unknown, and evidence-based faith in the practice of mindfulness, and of one’s own abilities. Brewer reiterates the scientific evidence that supports mindfulness as a superior strategy for overcoming addictions such as smoking and overeating. In addition to his own studies, hundreds of clinical papers have demonstrated the efficacy of mindfulness. In addition to this kind of evidence, people have their own successes to remember as personal evidence. When they feel doubtful in their ability to change, they should note that doubt and what it feels like and then remember the moments their awareness helped them and continue on practicing it.

The author reveals that he has struggled with a habit loop about procrastination. Over time, he realized that his stress around his projects was prompting him to seek distraction, such as reading the news, only resulting in him feeling more behind on his work. Over time, he became more attuned to the physical discomfort of his stress and dread, and learned to note this feeling and continue working. One day, Brewer felt inspired to write a paper on one of his neuroscience topics and did so very efficiently with little discomfort. He realized that it was important for him to have extensive knowledge of his subject matter and to write in a distraction-free environment. Hoping to replicate this success, he undertook a days-long meditation retreat alone in his home, sitting and meditating when he was uncomfortable and writing when he felt inspired to. He ensured that he had no access to technology, and plenty of food prepared beforehand. By the end, he had completed the first draft of his first book. Brewer was interested in how these particular conditions had supported his creative endeavor and replicated them exactly in order to produce his second book, Unwinding Anxiety, in another meditation retreat at his home.

The author encourages the reader to identify their own behavioral equations so they, too, can use mindfulness to ease their negative habit loops and support constructive behavior. While it’s easy to wish our problems away, Brewer asks the reader to trust the scientific evidence, as well as their own, and continue practicing their mindfulness.

When overcoming a habit loop, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and worry about how long one can avoid the unwanted behavior. Dr. Brewer takes inspiration from his patients who struggle with alcoholism. One of the mantras in Alcoholics Anonymous is “One day at a time.” It is sometimes helpful to consider an even shorter time frame, like 1 hour or 10 minutes, as the goal. Whether people are tackling an addiction or simply trying to avoid worrying, approaching the issue in increments is better than imagining the entire future: This can lead to more anxiety and rumination because of the uncertainty of the distant future. “Stringing together” these moments of “sobriety” leads to longer-term success, but it is essential that people live in the moment (253). Dr. Brewer advised one of his anxious patients to focus on relieving anxiety through mindfulness for a few minutes at a time and note when he began worrying about anxiety he might feel the next day, thus triggering anxiety in the present.

The author compares life to a necklace, and each experience of the present is another bead we add. Feeling anxious about the future does not remove problems from it but adds another anxiety “bead” to the necklace of our lives, increasing the chances that we will add more. Brewer asks the reader to use their skills to put their old necklaces away and make new ones with beads of kindness and curiosity.

The author considers how some people are more drawn to extremes than others. He has always been interested in competition, self-improvement, and pursuing achievements. Meanwhile, aspects of our environment, such as digital media and social media, have encouraged people to become more politically extremist in their thinking through their predictive algorithms, prompting people to experience more extremist messaging online. One appeal of extremism is that it creates simple in and out groups, giving people a shared enemy and a sense of community and purpose. This has a downside, of course: It is highly divisive and hurtful to those excluded.

While the competition and exclusion of in and out groups is an inherent part of human nature, so too is compassion. Berkeley researcher Dacher Keltner scanned participants’ brains while they considered strangers experiencing harm and found that compassion seems to be an inherent, brain-based human response. In his own lab, Dr. Brewer discovered that people rank emotions like curiosity and kindness as good feelings, and associate fear and anger with feeling bad. This reinforces Brewer’s belief that altruism has a high reward value for the brain, and that practicing mindfulness can perpetuate kindness and minimize cruelty and judgment.

Brewer embraces “kindism” as his favorite form of extremism, arguing that it is always superior to any other reaction. He notes that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. believed that people had to choose their preferred extreme, and also argued passionately for people to embrace kindness, asking, “Will we be extremists for hate or for love?” (260). The author asks the reader to use their new mindfulness tools to generate more kindness toward themselves or others and enjoy the benefits it brings.

The author relays a memorable anecdote from the beginning of his mindfulness app, Craving to Quit, which helps smokers learn to work with their addiction. While visiting his friend, Congressman Tim Ryan, Dr. Brewer told him about his new app, which he was trialing with smokers. Ryan instructed his aide, Michael, to try the new app, since he was a smoker. The next month Dr. Brewer received an email from Michael and was stunned to learn that he had stopped smoking altogether after 21 days of using the app. Six years later Brewer was overjoyed to learn that Michael was still a non-smoker, thanks to mindfulness. The author concludes his work by inviting the reader to give him feedback through his website, as his work on mindfulness tools is a “continual learning process” that he would like to improve (263).