52 pages • 1 hour read
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The chorus remember how they had to hide their kisses out of fear and shame. However, they knew that one day, if enough of them came together, their love would become less private and less shameful. They marvel at Peter and Neil kissing openly as they leave IHOP, and how they don’t have to worry about what anyone but each other thinks.
Cooper wanders around Walmart, scrolling through messages from men, when a classmate approaches him. The girl, Sloan, tries to be friendly, but Cooper isn’t receptive. She asks what he’s shopping for, and he lies about looking for gas for the grill. She tells him she’ll see him Monday before she leaves, and Cooper returns to aimlessly scrolling through the app.
Avery and Ryan still drift along the river in the canoe. Avery tells Ryan that his hair is pink because gender is arbitrary, and he shouldn’t have to avoid the color pink as a transgender boy because of “stupid, arbitrary shit” (65). Ryan tells him that his hair is blue because he likes blue. The chorus remember how “stupid, arbitrary shit” led to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people because intolerance and willful ignorance prevented the United States from taking HIV/AIDS seriously. “Because they fall prey to differences. Because some use the arbitrary very deliberately to keep their own power” (67). Ryan and Avery share a lot on the canoe, but they still hold back some things that they aren’t ready to share, such as Ryan having an eating disorder.
Harry and Craig have been kissing for 47 minutes, which Harry has found surprisingly easy. He thinks the kiss is easier because they’re no longer boyfriends, and therefore there’s less pressure behind it. Though he thinks being broken-up is easier, he loves Craig and wants him to succeed in his record-breaking project. More people have gathered to watch the kiss, some objecting to it, but most there to support. An 11-year-old boy named Max has come with his dad to watch, and the chorus marvels at him because “He will never have to come out, because he will never have been kept in” (70).
Peter and Neil continue their day at a bookstore in Clinton. Peter’s friend Simon sends him a link to Harry’s and Craig’s feed. Peter shows Neil; though they don’t know the boys, Peter is impressed with what they’re attempting. Neil, however, notices that Simon called Peter “beautiful” in the text, and he asks Peter about it. They argue about whether it was too flirty. Neil isn’t really afraid that Peter is cheating on him, but he fears that one day, Peter might want to. Peter, however, feeling attacked, goes down the street to pick up coffee and give himself a chance to cool off. When Peter returns, Neil apologizes using book covers, arranging their titles to spell out the message. Peter thinks the gesture is sweet and goes to find books to write a response to Neil. He chooses books that tell Neil how much he loves him. Peter’s mom comes to pick them up, and they log back on to watch the livestream of the kiss on Peter’s phone.
Cooper leaves Walmart and goes to a Starbucks a few towns away, so that he can be as anonymous as possible. He flips through profiles on the dating app until he sees one that interests him: a 23-year-old man with the username “Antimatter.” Cooper waits for Antimatter to contact him, but when he doesn’t, Cooper messages him first.
Avery wonders if Ryan will ever kiss him. They’ve been on the boat for hours and it’s getting hot, so Ryan suggests that they go back in. They row to the dock, and Ryan helps Avery out of the canoe, holding his hand. Just as Avery thinks they’re about to kiss, Ryan’s aunt comes out of the house and walks over to them. They move apart, but they keep holding hands. She offers the boys some refreshments and invites them in.
Two thousand people now watch the livestream, and another hour has passed. Harry and Craig respond to comments from their phones while they kiss. They find that people are watching from all over the world. It’s starting to get hot, and Harry’s feet hurt. He signals to Smita to bring the umbrella, and she uses it to shield them from the sun, avoiding blocking the camera for the live stream. The song “Dream a Little Dream of Me” comes on, which reminds Harry of the movie Beautiful Thing. He reminds Craig of it by drawing the letters “BT” on Craig’s back, and they begin dancing together, maintaining lip contact. Harry’s father and others start dancing along with them. While they’re slow dancing, Harry sees Craig’s mother, and stops. Craig’s mother calls Craig’s name, confused about what’s happening; Craig had told her he was on a camping trip. She tries to ask him, but he can’t stop kissing to tell her. Mrs. Ramirez and Smita try to tell her that they’re trying to break the world record, but she is shocked and starts to cry. Tariq brings Craig a marker and some paper, and Craig writes: “I’m gay, Mom. I’m gay…I can’t stop now. I’m sorry” (81).
Craig’s mother asks Smita if Harry is Craig’s boyfriend, and Smita explains as best as she can that they’re kissing to normalize two boys kissing. Mrs. Ramirez tries to help Craig’s mother process things, but she isn’t receptive. Craig knows that his mother isn’t taking it well, and he holds tightly to Harry as they kiss, tears streaming down his face. Tariq stands up to Craig’s mother for him, and Smita takes her hand. Craig breaks down in sobs, but Harry holds him, and keeps their mouths together.
Cooper’s interaction with his classmate at Walmart further reveals the abject level of his hopelessness and the refractory nature of his self-isolation. He is not simply lonely and desperate for connection; if this were true, he would have welcomed conversation with someone who seemed genuinely kind and engaged. In contrast, when Sloan approaches him, he wants nothing more than for her to leave him alone. His negative self-image, compounded by parental rejection, prevents his belief that anyone could like him or care about him. His self-loathing explains, at least in part, his use of dating apps to find quick, meaningless flings. He seeks connection, but only if that connection is stripped of actual intimacy and personality; he believes himself unworthy of anything deeper. His negative self-image further undermines his ability to believe that love is real. It seems, to him, that anyone who offers him any kind of love is lying. He therefore sees all human interaction through the distorted lens of self-loathing, as all gestures of love appear inherently deceptive. Cooper ignores his parents reaching out, partially because he fears they will be angry with him, but also because he fears he has irrevocably ruined his relationship with them, and that he must leave them behind.
Neil’s and Peter’s relationship represents the insecurity that many young people face when exploring love for the first time, but it also displays the interlocking insecurities instilled through intolerant parental rejection. Neil, whose parents have never been supportive of his sexual orientation, is tormented by a gnawing sense of inadequacy. Feeling threatened, he picks a pointless fight with Peter over the text from Simon. Despite their year-long relationship, Neil worries that Peter will leave him for someone else. Peter, not plagued by such self-doubt, struggles to understand Neil’s anxiety.
The consequential nature of the Big Kiss becomes ever clearer, as ramifications begin mounting. The Kiss begins to inspire thousands of people online—but it also forces Craig out of the closet, publicizing his sexual orientation to his mother. His mother’s self-pityingly tearful reaction devastates Craig, who imagined that breaking the world record would make it easier for him to come out to his family, and maybe even make them proud. It is one of the novel’s thematic instances of gay youth needing to find their own family apart from their family of origin: Craig’s support comes from his friends and Harry’s parents, who try their best to soften the blow with his mother. Likewise, Harry physically supports him when he is overcome with emotion.
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By David Levithan