The Silent Wife

“[Natasha] makes him conscious of his aging body and flagging vitality. Not because of anything she says or does; only because she’s young and desirable and insatiable.”

Todd’s early evaluation of Natasha reveals him to be, regardless of his other self-constructions, a stereotype of the man in a midlife crisis. However, it also reflects a view of Natasha that will be gradually challenged, especially when they move in together.

“Todd is not going to call her either. There will be no checking in to say that he misses her, no asking after her welfare. She somehow knows this, and with the knowledge comes a feeling of something unstoppable, like birds flying off before a storm.”

Despite Jodi’s compartmentalization of Todd’s affairs, she recognizes that this “fishing trip” is unusual. Typically, Todd is conscientious about checking in with Jodi and making her feel appreciated, but his complete disappearance from her life for the weekend is so unusual that she feels a real sense of unease.

“He may not like what’s happening, but given time he’s going to adapt because if Dean is anything he’s loyal, and Todd is Dean’s oldest friend.”

Todd’s self-centered rationalizations are on display in this quote, which shows Todd assuming that Dean’s loyalty to him will supersede the father/daughter relationship. Todd is so habituated to seeing himself as in the right that he cannot even imagine an outcome where Dean does not accept that his oldest friend has impregnated his young daughter.

“The dismal thoughts that plagued her over the weekend have largely gone from her mind. Whatever he did and whoever he did it with—that’s over now, and she’s never been one to live in the past. If she were inclined to dwell on things gone wrong she would have left him or strangled him years ago.”

Jodi has a remarkable ability to relegate unpleasant or painful things to “the past,” where she convinces herself they can stay. Though she knows that Todd’s absence over the weekend is a problem, Jodi is eager to avoid the implications and negative emotions; instead of confronting and handling the issue, Jodi resolves to pretend as though nothing unusual happened so that she can continue living the pretense that everything is fine.

“He breaks the connection and it dawns on him that this is typical of his and Jodi’s life together: the stubborn pretense, the chasms of silence, the blind forging ahead. He must have known this, but the weirdness of it, the aberrance, has somehow never struck him. Other couples are loud, vocal, off and on again, working things out, but with Jodi and him it’s all dissimulation. Put up a front, go through the motions, don’t say a word. Act as if all is well and all will be well.”

Here, Todd realizes that his and Jodi’s habit of pretending is unusual and perhaps not healthy—he mentions that other couples “work things out” and suggests that instead, he and Jodi hide behind pretense. When he says that you can make “all well” by acting as though it is even when it isn’t, he subconsciously acknowledges that there are problems in the relationship that aren’t being addressed.

“There were moments when she felt like a fake—or like he must think she was a fake. It became a concern that he suspected her of dissembling, hiding some deeper truth about herself, failing to disclose a darker, bleaker side of her story, resisting him, resisting therapy.”

This moment is ironic once the reader knows about Jodi’s history with childhood sexual abuse—she is, in fact, failing to disclose a “darker” side of her story. It is also noteworthy because it demonstrates how fully Jodi is able to suppress negative emotions and memories behind an image of perfection; she routinely describes her childhood as happy, though the reader knows that her older brother molested both her and her younger brother, and her father’s infidelity caused so many issues that her parents once stopped talking to each other for a year.

“He’d say, ‘Let’s get married,’ and she’d say, ‘Can we stop at the supermarket first?’ He was a little stung by it, but there was something to admire in her resolve. Anyway, boys don’t grow up dreaming of their wedding day. Hearing her promise—hearing her say the words, take the vow—would have meant something to him, but her love and devotion were never in doubt.”

Todd’s recollection of Jodi’s light-hearted rejections of his proposals reveals how far back the couple’s pattern of pretense goes. Though Todd was “stung” by it, he rationalized her refusal to commit to him by focusing on the appearance of her commitment, which was “never in doubt.”

“‘Don’t,’ he says. ‘Don’t make it hard for me. It’s not like I planned this. It’s just the roll of the dice. We don’t decide everything that happens to us. You know that.’”

One of Todd’s defining character traits is that he always sees himself as victim rather than perpetrator. Whatever harm he causes to other people, Todd still views himself as a good person trying to do the right thing. In this scene, where he tells Jodi he’s leaving her for Natasha, Todd presents the situation as something that is out of his control and not one caused directly by his actions. When he tells Jodi not to “make it hard” for him, he is selfishly demanding that she be “reasonable” by allowing him to leave her without any conflict or emotional response.

“He won’t soon forget the ordeal of his depression. Before Natasha, life was hardly worth living. Now, his renewed spirits are rippling outward, creating promise for the future. He stands firmly by the choices he’s made and the path he’s taken. His advice to everybody would be: Don’t allow anything or anyone to stop you from living your life.”

This is another example of Todd’s ability to shape his worldview to prioritize his desires and depict his actions as those of a good person. His double betrayal of both Jodi and Dean are swept aside in this phrasing, which constructs him as a newly healed man who is just trying to “live [his] life” despite the interference of un-named others.

“She has a lot riding on this, she knows. A drink in a bar or dinner in a restaurant would do just as well. But she’s been overcome by a persuasive euphoria, and all she can see is the stars in her eyes and all she can hear is the music in her head.”

Despite Todd’s having moved out, Jodi convinces herself that everything can simply return to the way it used to be if she reminds him of the comforts of home. She describes herself as “overcome” by this idea, illustrating the power of her mind to alter her perception of reality.

“He’s never felt kindly toward Miss Piggy or for that matter anyone who carries on a long-term extramarital affair, in effect, a form of polygamy. A passing fling is one thing, sex with a prostitute is one thing, but dividing your loyalties as a way of life is a faithless path to take and one that can only end badly.”

This passage reveals Todd’s perception of infidelity as something truly extramarital, something that is not relevant to the marriage as long as it only involves sex or a “passing fling.” He speaks of a division of loyalties, suggesting that he does not see his form of cheating as a betrayal of trust, once again rationalizing his bad actions as ethical by his own self-serving standards.

“In years to come she will think of this letter as marking a radical shift in her disposition, as quietly killing off the girl she was and ushering in an updated, disenchanted version of herself. Looking back, she will see the transformation as being practically instantaneous, akin to falling into a dream or waking up from one, but she’ll be wrong about this. The truth is that the change happens gradually, over the days and weeks that follow.”

This moment in the text is a rare example of narratorial intervention. By expanding the timeline of the novel to “years to come” rather than the present, the omniscient narrator reinforces the distance between Jodi’s perception and her reality.

“He doesn’t want to knock Natasha, but coming home isn’t what it used to be, and the clutter is the least of it. Natasha seems to thrive on chaos: neighbors dropping off their kids, people showing up for dinner, the TV blaring even when she’s studying. And it will only get worse when the baby is born.”

Todd compares Natasha unfavorably to Jodi because Natasha does not or cannot create the life of quiet comfort that Jodi has for years. He often attaches these complaints to reminders of her age, suggesting that he views youth as a time of activity and energy. These are things he values, but he seems to prefer their potential to their reality, which he finds tiresome and overwhelming.

“She’s always been a woman in charge of her life, someone who manages well, but today she’s been toppled, and it turns out that all it took was a little shove, a gentle boot; her position was that precarious. Two decades of believing her way of life was secure, and it turns out that she was hanging by a thread all along. Ever since moving in with Todd she’s been as good as delusional—there’s no other way to think about it. She built her life on a faulty premise, on wishful thinking. The person she thought she was never existed.”

Jodi admits to herself that their relationship’s pattern of pretense has left them unstable and without the strong foundation they appeared to have. Here, reality begins to assert itself over perception, leading Jodi briefly to reconsider her stance on marriage.

“He likes to be admired by Jodi. Her admiration has buoyed him up and given him heart over the years […]. He could have made his way without her, but with her he had this precious grease for his gears. Not every man has been loved like that.”

Todd speaks admiringly of Jodi even after ending their 20-year relationship and treating her cruelly in the financial separation. This is an example of his own compartmentalization, showing that he is as capable of believing his own propaganda as Jodi is. Though he values loyalty, he doesn’t demonstrate it, despite acknowledging all that Jodi has done and been for him over the years. Still, he relegates Jodi to a supporting, secondary role: to be considered “grease” for someone’s “gears” is hardly a flattering proposition.

“In the past she has always been open with her friends, but that was when she was on top of things. Jodi not coping is something they don’t need to witness.”

As the pretense of a happy relationship crumbles, Jodi struggles with knowing how to engage with other people, even her friends. She is so accustomed to the successful façade that she feels ashamed by her struggles after its dissolution. Her unwillingness to open up to her friends reveals how important appearances are to her since she is unwilling to show weakness or pain even under life-changing circumstances.

“The benefits of a good cry are known to her—the release of pent-up emotions, the clearing of static from the system—but as the years go by she finds herself less and less able to let go, becomes more and more accustomed to the brittleness that goes with endurance. The day will come, she imagines, when fine cracks appear in her skin and go about branching and splitting till she comes to resemble the crackle-glaze vase on the mantel.”

Jodi contemplates the cost of suppressing her emotions. The novel uses vivid imagery in its description of the crackle-glaze vase; associating Jodi with porcelain gives the impression that her emotional state is delicate and under a great deal of pressure.

“And Natasha will be different with a baby to look after. Her focus will shift from him to the needy infant. He’s looking forward to that, but in the meantime the least he can do is make an effort to be more tolerant and more compliant, because basically she can’t help herself.”

Todd’s patronizing evaluation of Natasha reveals the way he shapes the world to satisfy his own narrative. Though they’ve had a physical fight at this stage of the novel, Todd sees himself as blameless but decides to “make an effort” to satisfy Natasha while she is, in his perception, irrational due to pregnancy hormones. His expectation of a rational response to his actions stems from his years with Jodi, who excused and overlooked the behaviors that Natasha will not.

“The memory had borne its burial well, had returned to her intact, untarnished, fully dimensional […]. Initially, the explosion within had been all pain and alarm, but later on she learned the trick of surrender, came to understand that capitulation was her means of disengaging, her ticket out.”

The memory of her childhood sexual abuse comes back to Jodi after a session with Gerard. The “surrender” and “capitulation” she describes are explained by other parts of the novel, when Todd thinks about her “weird stillness, the way her eyes lose focus and drift sideways” during sex (211). Surrender and capitulation also describe the way Jodi reacts to the hurtful fact of Todd’s infidelity. This revelation helps to explain much of Jodi’s behavior and coping mechanisms, showing that from the age of six she has had to suppress painful memories.

“Time hangs suspended, and yet it’s about to end. Death should be a seduction, not a rape. Given one more minute he could do so much. Even the guilty are allowed to make a phone call, send a message. How alive he feels, how brightly he shines, like a lit fuse, a firecracker about to go off. What he wouldn’t give for a minute more, just one ordinary minute tacked crudely onto the end of his life.”

Todd’s final thoughts come into sharp focus as his death approaches. The language of sexual violence—“a seduction, not a rape”—condenses much of the novel’s unspoken trauma, implicitly linking the abuse Jodi suffered in childhood to Todd’s impending death. Realizing his time is about to run out, Todd becomes frantic, though helpless to avoid his fate. For someone who has convinced himself that many of his worst actions were beyond his conscious control, it is an ironic death.

“All this solicitation does Jodi good. It was the right decision to come here and show her face. There’s a sense that something fitting and proper is happening. Through Todd’s death her rightful position as his wife and heir has been restored.”

Though Jodi debates whether or not to attend Todd’s funeral, she ultimately does go. Because the changes of the last months were so rapid, many people still think of her as Todd’s wife and flock to her to share their condolences. Jodi has had Todd killed, but she still thinks of this display as “proper” because it satisfies her desire to restore the pretense of her previous life.

“She’s impressed by the fact that life goes on around her undiminished, that people have the wherewithal to give each day their best shot, inhabit their lives with a show of spirit. She respects them for it. They have their problems, she knows, as everyone does, but somehow they manage to keep themselves going. Compared to her, even her clients are doing well.”

Jodi withdraws from the world while she waits to be arrested for Todd’s murder. She begins drinking heavily and staying in bed, though she attempts to maintain appearances by having occasional dinners with friends and wearing more makeup to conceal her drawn appearance. This represents a rupture in her ability to pretend as though everything is fine, even though her appearance can be taken as a sign of grief rather than guilt.

“She went to Gerard in the first place as part of her training but can’t dispute the fact that during her work with him she peered through the lens of her own eye and discovered important things about herself, for instance her terrific ability to shut out what she didn’t want to see, forget what she didn’t want to know, put a thing out of her mind and never think about it again.”

Jodi recognizes her own coping mechanism of compartmentalizing unpleasant truths or experiences. This marks a moment of self-awareness but does not substantively change Jodi’s habits or approach to life.