It's Not Summer Without You

After dinner, they are careful not to mention school or the call from Mr. Fisher to Conrad. Tired, Belly goes to bed hoping Jeremiah will talk to him about returning if she is not there.

In her room, she sees that Taylor has replaced all but her underwear with Taylor’s clothing, including a skimpy pajama set that she cannot imagine wearing in front of Jeremiah and Conrad. She is angry with Taylor for again doing something against her wishes. Soon, Jeremiah knocks to say he is going to broach the subject of school with Conrad tomorrow, given his mood. They high-five, although Belly still feels apprehensive about their plan.

Jeremiah knows that Belly left them alone to give them a chance to talk, thinking, “She was an easy read, always had been” (128). Instead, Jeremiah asks Conrad if he wants to surf tomorrow, thinking they will talk about school then and everything will work out.

They watch television in silence until Conrad falls asleep. Upstairs, Jeremiah sees the light still on in Belly’s room and knocks, self-conscious that he feels the need to when growing up they would always just barge in. He sits on the edge of her bed and reminds himself, saying, “I’d seen her in her pajamas a million times before, and what was the big deal?” (129), but he cannot help noticing the pretty pajama set Belly wears.

Belly sleeps in the next morning and delays going downstairs, wanting to pretend she is waking up in the Cousins Beach house like any other summer. From her window, she watches Jeremiah and Conrad on their surfboards and feels a swell of hope that Conrad might come back with them.

Belly calls Taylor, explaining their plan for helping Conrad. Taylor asks why she is still there, saying, “You should be at home where you belong” (131). She reminds Belly how poorly Conrad treated her. Despite her disapproval, Taylor agrees to cover for Belly with Laurel for another night. Belly calls her mother next and tells her that she plans to stay over at Taylor’s again. Belly hears the relief in her mother’s voice, understanding Laurel just wants to be alone with her grief.

Dressed in Taylor’s clothes, Belly joins the boys for breakfast. Conrad says they should leave soon if they want to avoid Fourth of July traffic and that, while he appreciates what Jeremiah is trying to do, he has “everything under control” (134). Jeremiah tries to argue with Conrad, and Belly interjects, asking how Conrad plans to become a doctor without a college degree.

Conrad, taken aback, says she doesn’t know what she is talking about. He gets up, thanks Jeremiah for breakfast, and tells Belly that she has sugar on her face before leaving. Belly turns to Jeremiah, saying, “I thought you were going to work on him!” (135). Jeremiah reminds her that Conrad “shuts down” when pushed (135), and Belly touches his arm, telling him they still have time.

Susannah’s death sinks in for Belly when she opens a linen closet and finds one of Susannah’s large floppy hats. She realizes she has been avoiding thinking about her, which is more difficult here because “she [is] everywhere” (137). Belly puts the hat back and rushes to the pool to swim, which always clears her mind.

Jeremiah interrupts her an hour and a half later; only then does Belly realize how long she has been swimming. When he leaves to get lunch, she swims for another hour. When she surfaces, she sees Conrad sitting on the side of the pool, watching her. He holds out her towel and asks if Belly still pretends she’s in the Olympics when she swims. He notes, “When you swim [...] You’re so into what you’re doing, it’s like you’re someplace else” (139-40). Before Belly can respond, Conrad gets up and goes back inside.

Steven calls Belly to say he ran into Taylor at the mall and she failed to lie convincingly about where Belly is. Steven sounds jealous when Belly admits that she is at Cousins with the boys, and Belly quickly explains why she and Jeremiah are there.

After their call, a car pulls up to the house. Downstairs, Belly finds Conrad with a woman who introduces herself as Sandy Donatti, Mr. Fisher’s real-estate agent. She tells Conrad that she is there to check on the house and see how packing is going, and Conrad tells her that he sent the movers away. He says he is staying there for the summer and introduces Belly as his girlfriend. He also tells Sandy that the house is not his father’s to sell because it belongs to his mother, who recently died. Sandy extends her condolences and says she will go over things again with Mr. Fisher. Conrad thanks her and tells her to pass the message that the house is not for sale along to his father.

When Sandy leaves, Conrad instructs Belly—still reeling from Conrad calling her his girlfriend—not to tell Jeremiah about the realtor, explaining, “I just don’t want him to know yet. About our dad” (145). Belly understands this to mean he doesn’t want to puncture Jeremiah’s perception of their father as perfect. She doesn’t approve, but agrees when Conrad pleads with her. She realizes Conrad came here not to quit school but to save the house.

Belly watches Jeremiah and Conrad surf again. She drinks a beer, unable to find food in the kitchen and recalling Taylor saying beer is “just like bread” (148). She notes how strange it is to be alone in the house, one of the only times in her entire life this has happened.

Before long, she hears someone approach her from behind and sees that it is Mr. Fisher. She puts down the beer, suddenly self-conscious, and tells him that the boys are out. Mr. Fisher asks how Conrad is, and Belly says he is good, though she thinks, “His mother had just died. He’d run away from school. How could he be good? How could any of us?” (149). Belly realizes that Conrad is doing somewhat well because he now has a purpose in saving the house.

They sit in silence, and Belly gets the familiar feeling she has whenever Mr. Fisher is around: “The feeling that I was In Trouble. That we all were” (150).

The narrative switches to a summer when Belly and Jeremiah, age eight and nine, got in trouble at the beach house—normally “a big trouble-free zone” (157). Breaking the unspoken rule that Mr. Fisher’s expensive blender is off-limits, they try to make slushies, resulting in an explosion that stains his costly leather briefcase. When Mr. Fisher yells at Jeremiah, Conrad comes to his defense, saying their father never explicitly said they couldn’t use the blender. This only angers Mr. Fisher further, and he tells them to clean up. Belly hears her mother argue with Mr. Fisher, calling him an “ass-hat” (156), which makes Belly giggle.

Belly notes this is one of the only times any of them got in real trouble at Cousins, because Mr. Fisher is not normally around and the mothers are more relaxed there. She thinks of this laxness as both good and bad, sensing that the kids “[a]ren’t as important here, that there [a]re other things that occup[y] my mother’s mind [...] the secret life inside herself, where Steven and I [don’t] exist” (157). The summer house shows Belly that the adults in her life have a separate life from their children, although she admits that the kids did too.

Belly watches Jeremiah and Conrad approach the house and wishes she could warn them somehow of Mr. Fisher’s presence. Conrad ignores Mr. Fisher, who follows him into the house. Jeremiah and Belly go after them and hear Mr. Fisher berating Conrad in the kitchen for messing up the sale of the house. Jeremiah, shocked to learn that Mr. Fisher was trying to sell it, looks at Conrad, wondering why he did not tell him.

Mr. Fisher tries to rationalize his decision by saying that the money from the sale will go to the boys, but Conrad protests, saying that he cares about the house—“Mom’s house” (160)—not the money. Mr. Fisher argues that this is what Susannah would want, and Conrad tells him that he has been a terrible father and husband after cheating on Susannah and leaving her.

Jeremiah tries to intervene, telling Conrad to shut up, and Conrad turns on Jeremiah, telling him to stop defending their father like he always does, adding, “That’s exactly why we didn’t tell you!” (161). Jeremiah realizes that Belly also knows about the sale of the house, and Belly tries to explain that she only just found out herself.

When Mr. Fisher leaves, Jeremiah asks Conrad why he didn’t tell him, since it’s his house too. Jeremiah says that if he had known sooner he could have spoken to their dad, at which Conrad scoffs, saying Jeremiah is “so busy being up [their father’s] ass, [Jeremiah] can’t see him for who he is” (163). He reminds Jeremiah that their father left Susannah during her cancer treatments and wasn’t there when she needed him. Jeremiah lands a harsh blow to Conrad, asking, “Where were you?” (164). Jeremiah tells Conrad that he is jealous that Jeremiah and Mr. Fisher actually have a relationship, looking to Belly to back him up. Belly feels torn: “They were both right and they were both wrong” (165). She does not respond, and Jeremiah storms out of the house and drives off.

Belly says Conrad shouldn’t have asked her to keep the sale a secret and that he hurt Jeremiah’s feelings. Conrad tells her she’s the one who hurt Jeremiah’s feelings—an accusation she thinks she doesn’t want him to explain further. They sit in silence with beers until she asks, “What now?” (167). He teasingly asks whether she means between the two of them or between her and Jeremiah, but then says there is nothing to be done about the house now that Mr. Fisher has made up his mind. Belly asks Conrad about summer school, but he tells her to leave it alone and goes outside.

Jeremiah drives for a half hour, stewing in his anger. He remembers how, growing up, Mr. Fisher always favored Conrad. He recalls a specific memory in which he and Conrad wrestled as Mr. Fisher coached them. Jeremiah beat Conrad, a first—but instead of congratulating him, Mr. Fisher was disappointed with Conrad and began criticizing him. Conrad eventually offered, “Good job, Jere” (169), and only then did their father acknowledge Jeremiah’s victory. He suddenly got the feeling that he never wanted “to beat Conrad ever again. It wasn’t worth it” (169).

Jeremiah doesn’t want to go back to the house, but knows he must. He feels badly for telling Conrad that he was absent when Susannah got really sick toward the end of her life, knowing that Conrad was in college and that if he had known the extent of her illness, he would have been there for her. Jeremiah also reflects how, despite their father’s many faults, he came back to Susannah in the end and made her happy. Jeremiah decides to pick up a pizza and asks whether Ron, a local guy who procures alcohol for underage kids, is working. Jeremiah gets home to find Conrad sitting on the porch out front and holds up the pizza and alcohol, telling Conrad that they are going to have a party.