83 pages • 2 hours read
I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter
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Chapters 10-13Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 10 Summary
The winter passes “like a slow and anguishing blur” for Julia (124), and in April, her class goes on a field trip to Warren Dunes. She always enjoys these nature field trips because she finds beauty in the outdoors. Julia wanders the forest with Lorena and Juanga, and she tries to remain patient with him so that he can connect her with Jazmyn through Maribel. When they stop for lunch, Julia is stunned by the beauty of the lake, but her mood quickly changes when Lorena embarrasses her in front of Juanga by talking about Julia’s sexual inexperience. Lorena accuses her of being stuck up and compares her to her sister and mother, which deeply upsets Julia. Julia storms off and tries to calm herself down by lying in the sand.
When she opens her eyes, her classmate Pasqual is standing above her, and he asks her about Olga. When he compliments Julia, she gets annoyed, and he tells her: “You shouldn’t hate yourself so much. Everyone is messed up, even when it doesn’t seem like it” (131). After he leaves, she tries to read her book, and Mr. Ingman soon joins her. He asks her about her well-being again and offers to help her find a therapist. Julia assures him that she does not need his help.
Chapter 11 Summary
Julia eagerly waits for junior year to end and cannot wait to leave Chicago to go to college. She finds it odd that Olga never got a degree from the community college, despite taking classes there for years, so she goes to the Records office to ask for Olga’s transcript. The woman working there has a puzzled reaction to searching for Olga’s records, but cannot share the information with Julia because of the school’s policy regarding student deaths. Julia tries to convince her to share some information, but the woman refuses to make an exception. Julia angrily yells at her before leaving.
Chapter 12 Summary
Julia is dreading her upcoming quinceañera, and reluctantly participates in the preparations. She overhears her parents talking about money one night and finds out they are using Olga’s savings and life insurance to pay for the party, which deeply frustrates her. While Julia helps Amá prepare party favors, Lorena arrives to make amends with Julia. They apologize to each other, and Lorena shares that Juanga’s father abuses him for being gay, which makes Julia feel guilty for disliking him so much. They go out for pizza, where Julia shares that she hates her life most of the time. This alarms Lorena, and she assures Julia she will make it to college and change her life. They start discussing Julia’s suspicions of Olga, but Lorena is convinced Julia is just paranoid. Julia nevertheless asks her for help getting Jazmyn’s phone number through Juanga’s cousin Maribel.
On her walk home from Lorena’s, two men pull up next to Julia and start harassing her. She stops in front of an elderly man who has come out of his home and indicates to him that the men are giving her trouble. He yells at them, and they drive away threatening to return. The elderly man walks Julia home.
On Monday, Julia gets Jazmyn’s number from Maribel and calls her. She asks Jazmyn about the last time she saw Olga, but Jazmyn does not remember much about their interaction. The only new information she provides is that Olga mentioned her boyfriend had a good job, which makes Julia think Olga was not talking about Pedro.
Chapter 13 Summary
Julia dislikes nearly every moment of her quinceañera but goes through the motions to please her family. After her father-daughter dance—a tradition she finds ridiculous because “[Apa] hasn’t paid attention to [her] in years” (155)—she can now be considered a woman.
In the bathroom, Julia has a tense argument with her Tia Milagros. At the end of the party, Angie stops by to give Julia a gift, and Julia asks her about Olga’s love life. Angie insists Olga would not have been able to keep any big secrets from her family, but Julia remains suspicious and frustrated, telling Angie to leave.
At home, Julia’s parents reprimand her for what she said to Tia Milagros. When Amá tells her that perhaps “this country is ruining you,” Julia angrily tells her that life in Mexico would be even worse (162). This response deeply upsets Amá, who says: “You know, Julia, maybe if you knew how to behave yourself [...] your sister would still be alive” (162).
Chapters 10-13 Analysis
During her argument with Lorena, Julia’s deflection and desperation are very evident: she admits she does in fact think she is better than the life she was born into and all the people in it. This superiority complex is partly why she connects with so few people, and now, it is also pushing away the one faithful friend she has. While she tries to collect herself after the argument, her classmate Pasqual’s random appearance is almost like a premonition: he speaks a truth Julia desperately needs to hear and internalize, both about herself and everyone else in her life. She continues to refuse Mr. Ingman’s help, reassuring him that she is alright when she very clearly is not; her independence and determination to do everything on her own is becoming detrimental when it comes to her mental health.
Julia is still on her relentless mission to uncover more about Olga’s secrets, but she reaches another dead-end at the community college’s registrar’s office—though the receptionist’s confused reaction suggests, and foreshadows, that something is amiss with Olga’s records. Julia’s desperation is mounting, and her lashing out is becoming more frequent, subjecting even the receptionist to her anger. Julia has nowhere to direct her frustration, anger, or restless energy, leaving more and more hurt people in her wake.
After Julia and Lorena make up, she opens up to Lorena about her depressed feelings, which is the first time she has ever acknowledged them out loud. Lorena is obviously concerned but does not have the capacity to offer the guidance or support Julia so desperately needs, and she simply admonishes her for speaking about such dark, negative things. This suggestion to keep her mental health issues to herself, or ignore them altogether, negatively impacts Julia’s well-being even more.
On her way home from Lorena’s, Julia’s troublesome and nearly dangerous interaction with a car full of men emphasizes just how unsafe her neighborhood is, giving her yet another reason to escape, while simultaneously validating the extreme concern Amá is always expressing about Julia’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, structural poverty is keeping Julia’s family in the very kind of environment Amá is so desperately trying to protect Julia from.
Julia reluctantly participates in her quinceañera, knowing the spotlight on her is fully intended for Olga—Julia is merely her sister’s inadequate stand-in. During the father-daughter dance, Julia notes that this is the most intimate moment she has had with Apa in years, and even now, it is a result of an obligatory tradition rather than by choice. As much as she keeps herself together during the party for the sake of her parents, she cannot help but lash out at Tia Milagros after being compared to Olga for the umpteenth time, and then she goes on to snap at Angie. She knows that she has made yet another mistake and tries to find comfort in a piece of cake to quiet her insatiable hunger, but as always, it does not help. The fancy extravagance of the quince was only a brief distraction from the reality of the Reyes’ dismal home life. They return to their cockroach ridden floors, and what was supposed to be a celebratory evening is ruined by another argument.
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